Soon I shall start claiming these one liners as my own.

I have talked about a woman in our office who I would rather follow around with a pen and paper and write down her one liners instead of mundanely carrying out my job, like everyone else in the office.

A couple of pearlers that have recently come out of her mouth.

On the cigarette price hike:

'You think, what's it going to be: cat food/cigarettes, cat food/cigarettes, cat food/cigarettes,cat food/cigarettes? Fuck it, I 'll smoke the cat.'

To a woman who dresses incredibly stylishly:

'Hey Coco Chanel, you'll know - where can I get some decent shoes?'

On the phone to a man who had been a bit down on himself:

'Oh get off the cross would ya? We need the wood!'

And on that note, me and my notebook are off to work.

'